Help Line Loser

"Word Perfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared. "

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"........Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No.."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."



"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Read more

A Jobless Man

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at
Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor
as a
test.

"You are employed."

He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the

application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that

means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with
only

$10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a

10Kg tomato crate..

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two

hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation

three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can

survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return

late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought

a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food
retailers in the US.

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life
insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the

conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man

replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You

don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can

you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy
at

Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a
millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being
an
office boy,

than a millionaire . . .

Read more

TEENS TRENDS

According to New York Metro there are ten key items for fall. Did you know cocoon jackets were going to be big this fall? If you're out of the loop on this and other trends, read up on our guide to fall. We've made it easy for you to find these items and decide if they are right for your wardrobe.Fall is one of the most difficult seasons to buy clothes for. In the winter, it is obvious that you will need to bundle up, and in the summer, chances are that you will need to cool off. However, autumn has a way of being very unpredictable. One day it can seem more like the dead of winter, while the next day it feels like summer all over again. But not to worry, we have everything you need to make sure you start the fall season looking spicy and fresh! There are a variety of summer basics that you should have: shorts, sandals, tanks, tees, blouses, sunglasses, and the ever-essential oversize bag which works for everyday as well as the beach.The spring style forecast gives us pieces with a classic 70s vibe; it's all about color and novelty. Look for sexy sheers, retro prints, goddess togas, dazzling metallics, and feminine touches of embroidery in these fun, funky styles.With all of the snow, slush, and wind out there, the winter is a hard time of year to be fashionable. Though you may want to layer yourself in sweatshirts, there are more stylish ways to keeping warm this season! Many of the current trends are easy to maintain, as they can be incorporated into just about any outfit, and luckily they are versatile enough to keep you looking your best until the warmer sunshine of the spring months comes back around.

Read more

NEVER LIGHT CANDLE in AIR-COND ROOM

For those who sleep in the air-cond room ...........


Heard of a bad news regarding Charleine,

She passed away last weekend due to carbon monoxide poisoning.

It happened when she lighted an aromatheraputic candle for the night in a room with air-conditioning on and all windows closed.

Due to lack of oxygen in the room, the burning of the candle cannot fully oxidized & thus forming dangerous carbon monoxide.

Carbon monoxide will prevent oxygen exchange in the lungs, resulting the person dozing off to state of
unconsciousness & eventually death in less than 1 hour, depending on the room size.



I am putting this post out to all of you so that you will be aware of such danger when lighting aromatheraputic candles in any unventilated rooms.

Read more

Married Humour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-4

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.


The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'


------------ --------- --------- -


A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'


He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Read more

Married Humour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-3

Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'


Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'


Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

____________ _________ _________ __


A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'


'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

Read more

Married Humour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-2

Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'


Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'


Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

-----------------------------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'


Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'


Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'


Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

Read more

Married Humour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wife: 'What are you doing?'





Husband: Nothing.


Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'


Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'


------------ --------- --------- -


Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'


Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'


Wife: 'Yes or no.'

Read more

WASH AND DRINK

This is Serious! This incident happened recently in North Texas .
A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday.

The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis.

Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of all soda cans before drinking out of them. The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned.

Read more

A beautiful poem written by a Father to save his Daughter !!!

TO MY CHILD


Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you
trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will thank God for you, and ask him for

nothing, except one more day..............

Read more