Password Rejected (Humor)

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and, at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on.

The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he paused for effect, then letter by letter, with his wife watching over his shoulder, he keyed in ......

P
E
N
I
S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD: REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH
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Letter to God

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God , INDIA , they decided to forward it to the President of India as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20..

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs....20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read:

'Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax ...... '

just for fun
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Best Moments in Life !!!

* To fall in love.
* To laugh until it hurts your stomach.
* To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.
* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.
* To listen to your favorite song in the radio.
* To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside.
* To leave the! shower and find that the towel is warm.
* To clear your last exam.
* To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.
* To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year .
* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:)))
* To laugh without a reason.
* To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.
* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.
* To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.
* To be part of a team.
* To watch the sunset from the hill top.
* To make new friends.
* To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person.
* To pass time with your best friends.
* To see people that you like, feeling happy.
* To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.
* See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.
* To take an evening walk along the beach.
* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.
* To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ...... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.
These are the best moments of life....
Let us learn to cherish them.
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LIFEBOOK 2010-11-2

Community:

25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.


We know most of these things but out of our involvement in work / any activities we tend to forget doing these things. A forward like this works as a reminder for us
Therefore, do forward this to everyone you care about.
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LIFEBOOK 2010-11-1

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past.
That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree .
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Bricks Management....

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?


Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.


Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.


Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.





If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.



If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing ..



If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.




If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.



If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations .



If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.



If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.




If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.



If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.



If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing...




If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning..



And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.



Congratulate them and put them
In Top management
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NEW VIRUS ALERT

Please
Be Extremely Careful
especially if using internet mail such as
Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on.

This information arrived this morning direct from both Microsoft and Norton.

Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet.

You may receive an apparently harmless email with a Power Point presentation

'Life is beautiful.'

If you receive it DO NOT OPEN THE FILE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES , and delete it immediately.

If you open this file, a message will appear on your screen saying: 'It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful..'

Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC and the person who sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password.

This is a new virus which started to circulate on Tuesday afternoon.

AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the antivirus software's are not capable of destroying it..

The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself 'life owner.'
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A different Love letter

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Pooja,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
____________ ____

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?


2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile


3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know


5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know



6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded


7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8 ) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose


9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom.
If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

Love, Aakash

************ ********
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A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it

Pooja's reply letter was also in Q/A format .......


Aakash ,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside...... Right ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No

**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********
8 ) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you.
If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you .
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Buy Gold (Bullion, Bars, Coins)

There seems to be a myth about the demand for gold declining in the media, but in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

The demand for gold is as high, if not higher, than ever before as witnessed by the high levels of gold price found around the world.
Buy gold coins or gold bullion from Aurum Advisors, America’s gold IRA, gold coin investment, and gold price providers to household and institutional investors nationwide. American Gold Eagle, American Gold Buffalo, Canadian Gold Maple Leaf, and South African Gold Krugerrand coins at today’s lowest discount price.Using one aspect of a market to make an assessment of an entire market is faulty report and rather like saying the entire meat market is slow because one butcher did not buy as much meat as usual.

The desire to buy gold is not hard to understand; compared to other valuable substances, there is precious little gold in the world. And with its undeniably brilliant sheen and deep, rich tones, it's also easy to understand the appeal of owning gold as a tangible, physical investment. At its best as an investment, gold is both physical and very liquid (it can be bought and sold fluidly). But you can buy gold in different forms (bullion, bars, coins, jewelry etc.), and these forms tend to differ in their liquidity. Unless you live in a part of the world where there is a high demand for gold among jewelers who wish to make jewelry from it, your ability to sell gold bars will be less than your ability to sell gold as coins. This translates to lower probability that you will profit from your investment, something to consider as you buy gold. The primary reason for this is that the gold in gold bars doesn't bear a governmental guarantee of quality and quantity, while gold bullion does. Gold in bar form is an easier target for tampering as well - only an experienced dealer employing meticulous examination can tell whether a gold bar is indeed solid gold, as opposed to a gold shell filled with a non-precious heavy metal. Many are fooled into buying gold bars that still bear their marks but are nevertheless devoid of gold. You may know that your gold bar is sound - and that's excellent. But even if you know it, when the time comes to sell gold bars, you may have to pay for the examination fees to prove gold value to a skeptical dealer. And if that's the level of skepticism you can expect when a gold bar is marked, imagine what you might face if you're trying to sell a "hidden"(unmarked) gold bar!

When you buy a gold bar, don't commit until the dealer has proven to you that the gold bar is solid and true. Can the dealer prove the quality and quantity of the gold? Can you trust the dealer? Don't buy gold from an untrustworthy dealer!
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